How To Handle Negative Emotions

I need to say something the church doesn't say enough.

Feeling sad doesn't mean you're failing.
Feeling angry doesn't mean you're backsliding.

Somewhere along the way, Christianity got twisted into this idea that if you're really walking with God you'll be happy and peaceful all the time, completely unshakeable.
If you're not, that indicates you have failed.
That's a lie from the pit of hell.
It has kept more believers stuck and silent than almost anything I know.

The second you believe your bad feelings mean you're failing God, you stop being honest.
You perform a joy you don't feel.
Pretty soon you're smiling in the church lobby and falling apart in the car by yourself, telling everybody you're blessed while something inside you rots.

I know this because I lived it.
After I got saved and gave my life to Jesus, I figured being saved meant all the dark stuff would lift away from my life.
The anger and grief that would to hit late in the night and all the things I was struggling with.
I really thought God would just take it off me.
When He didn't, I was sure I was the problem.

I just had the wrong idea about what being saved would feel like.
Your feelings are part of being human, and God already knew you'd have them when He saved you.
He just wants you to bring them to Him instead of hiding them.

When we read Psalm 42.

We can see the heart of David so clearly.
He's not performing or pretending everything's fine.
He's just keeping it real with himself.

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me?"

That's David looking at his own emotions and asking them why.
He doesn't deny what he feels or try to bury it.
He looks at it honestly, then turns it toward God.

"Hope thou in God."

He didn't stop feeling.
He just redirected that feeling towards God.

Your feelings will always feel true, but are not always true.
The heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9).
This means that most of the time, our feelings con or trick us.

When you feel abandoned, match those feelings to the word of God. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5).
If you feel fear or danger, He already told you He didn't give you a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).
When the weight feels like it's going to crush you, remember He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

Most of us go to war with the emotion by suppressing it.
Have you noticed that it never works?
Anger you bury just builds pressure until it blows somewhere it shouldn't.
Sadness you ignore doesn't heal, it sits there and rots.

You don't heal by running from what you feel. You heal by running to God with it.

Rest assured, you can always bring your pain to God.

God won't be offended, and He won't pull away because your feelings got messy.
He already knows anyway.
He searched you and knew you before you ever said a word (Psalm 139:1).
None of this is news to Him.
He's been waiting a long time for you to quit pretending and be honest with Him.

Here's how to start handling your emotions in a Godly way

1. Observe instead of run.
The next time a feeling hits, don't stuff it and run.
Acknowledge that you're sad or emotional.
This allows you to then hand it over to God, either through prayer or fellowship.

2. Talk back to the feeling with the truth.
Don't tell yourself you shouldn't feel this way.
Feelings are part of being human but they cannot take the throne.
They do not get to dictate your worth.

3. Open the Word before you reach for the usual escape.
When it hits, your first instinct is the phone, the fridge, anything to numb it out.
Go to the Bible first and find what God actually says about your current situation.

PRAYER

God, I've been scared of my own feelings.
I thought being sad or angry or afraid meant I was failing You.
You only ever asked me to bring it to You.
Here it is. All of it.
The heaviness, the frustration, the fear I can't even put into words.
I'm done hiding it, and I'm done performing a peace I don't actually have.
I'm bringing it to You honest, and I'm trusting Your Word over what my feelings are screaming.
You know what this feels like.
You wept, You bled, and You still trusted Your Father through all of it.
Help me do the same.
In Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen.